Grandma came through her amputation like a champ. I believe she knew what was going on and that her increased confusion of the last few days is her way of withdrawing. She hasn't spoken really, only whispered. Except she whispered "Not my foot" right before they wheeled her away, because I think she is imagining herself helpless after the little toe amputation. I was the only one who heard her say that and man, if somethign had gone worng during that surgery I 'm not sure how I would have lived with the guilt, but she came through cause she is one tough old bird. The really good news is that when the doctor made the cut there was bleeding from that area, which means blood supply, which means healing, which means less chance of post surgical complications. Pray for my nine toed grandma. I am hoping that she'll have maybe 4 or 5 more days in the hospital and then can go to rehab, baby.
Mom had her first dialysis and it wasn't as bad as she was anticipating. Except she is convinced that now she can never leave Florida again. And also she needed several naps the day after instead of feeling invigorated. I have no idea. I just hope it works.
On to me and my sore (new word thanks to Boops) yoni. Basically, it hurts like a mother fucker. I had myself a good long cry this morning when I removed the pressure bandage and looked into the mirror. I was prepared for the scar line and the stitches that will no doubt leave little scar dots along the scar line, but I was not prepared for the big dent in what used to be my symmetrical nether regions. Now I am deformed and scarred, and I took that kind of hard. Now I'll never have a career as a strip dancer. My dreams are crushed. The stitches are pulling and pinching and poking. I can't stand perfectly straight and sitting is worse. The only way to stand is with my right leg bent like I am about to step on something in a most lady like fashion. The only way to sit is with my butt all slid forward in the seat and practically hanging off the seat so that I am neither straight nor bent. Driving hurts and so does passengering. I have to walk with my knees pressed together. My back is killing me now too.
I spent the last couple of hours at the wake of Kitten's father in law.
So, pretty much today sucked and if lil sis had not had come down to be with me during grandma's surgery and had she not kept sending me funny/mean girl text messages when the scumcle showed up and went and sat between us in the waiting room, then it might have been more than I could handle, but lil sis came through and her humor and charm made the day much more tolerable. Also, I still haven't shown you guys a photo of the disposable underwear they tried to make me wear yesterday so I do have something else to look forward to.
Yay for Grandma! I'm so glad to hear the bit about blood supply - that is definitely good news.
As for your mom, I'm sure the whole dialysis thing is more than a bit overwhelming at this point. But there is hope. My neighbor has to go to dialysis 3x a week and she's gone to Florida to visit her sister each summer since I've known her. She just arranges to have the dialysis while she's there. I'm sure that's a pain (isn't everything related to scheduling medical things?) but if it gives her the freedom to go where she wants, I'll bet it's worth it. Seems to be, or I'm sure she'd have kept her butt at home by now. So once this is no longer 'new' to your mom, she may not feel so imprisoned by it. Let's hope not, anyway.
I hope today is better for you and your yoni (love that word, btw...LOL) And I'm glad lil sis was able to help you through. I love how help shows up just about the time we think we're about to lose our grip on it all.
Here's to a healing day for you and yours!
Posted by: SuzanneSays... | February 27, 2008 at 09:48 AM