We left the house at 6:50 this morning and drove east. I spent the day at the hospital waiting for mom to have her minor surgical procedure. It was strange being in the same waiting room that I sat in last July when she had first real "get the cancer out" surgery. That last time lil sis was there and so was dad. Today it was just me. Lil sis is only a week and a half postpartum so she had a legit excuse, but dad was a disappointment. As tough as it is to be around him and his spewing misinformation some times, just having another family member would have been a big comfort. Dad was on the fence about going but last night we all went to bed thinking he was going to make the early morning off we go to have some more surgery trek. Then this morning when mom woke dad up he mumbled something about an upset stomach and went right back to sleep. I think mom deserves better than that, but honestly, the two of them do have a long history of dealing with things by not at all dealing with them and dad is surely freaking about mom being so incredibly sick and he dealt with it by, well, not dealing with it.
Mom pulled through surgery like a regular healthy person. That was great. They were a little delayed, but once mom's team got the OR they had her in there and took care of her and she was ready to go home precisely when they thought she would be ready. I managed to use the surgery/post op time to do more than just cope with food (which I naturally got out of the way thoroughly and immediately) but I took care of things with the OFH and the rehab/night of the living dead graveyard with several phone calls that surely had most of the surgical waiting room wondering how many less than healthy relatives can one person care for at one time, and tomorrow once wildmom and I finish up at the spa (yes folks, you heard me right, we are getting ourselves some well deserved R & R including some cranial sacral therapy for me which I am praying real hard will fix my neck/shoulder/numb arm issue once and for all) I can head over to the zombie spook show rehab and honestly, without sneaking past the nurses or hiding behind the linen cart spring grandma and take her back to the OFH where I don't have to try to slip her in the side door either.
I even impressed myself on the phone with these people today. I thought, "Damn, I'd give me what I was asking for!" I'm that good. And much to the doubting husband's relief, I did not have to resort to threats of life long lasting law suits by my lawyer husband or mention my pull at the local papers versus their need for free publicity or how I live across the street from the mayor or how tight I am with the town's ex-fire chief (and how I know how often the geezers start microwave oven fires in their rooms attempting to dry their laundry) and how all the cops think I am so great cause I get them in the paper or any of those things. I just kept pretty much telling them that there was nothing wrong with grandma, she was sent to the hospital unnecessarily and did not have a heart attack, is as capable as she was last monday when the overzealous nurse called 911 and no one was suggesting she needed any rehab back then, but I am a big fan of rehab so they can go ahead and give her some now and how as her responsible party I had to take into account her emotional well being, which is what I am doing by removing her from the rehab where grandma is very unhappy and her roommate now screams "Help me! Someone! Help me!" in her shriveled up old lady shrill death toll voice all day long every day except when she is moaning, and that I intended to bring grandma back to the OFH tomorrow so what would they like me to do and who would they like me to call to get the ball rolling, I'll be bringing her home around 1. The end. We all hung up on the same page, the page that says grandma is going back to the OFH and will not be returning to the rehab, like ever, or as long as she has a single functioning brain cell. But that is something for me, the one who deals with stuff to deal with in the future.
****I learned this trick from a ke-razy (in an interesting and eccentric kind of way) Japanese woman I used to work for. This woman would not take NO for an answer, and made me do her bidding for her, and I learned (because she made me call back and call back and call back until I got what she wanted) to be persistent until the other person folds. Works like a charm. Just never give up, keep repeating what it is that you want. I use that technique, or a slightly more diplomatic form of that technique, very effectively all the time. If I close my eyes I can still hear Ke-razy Kazuko screeching into the phone receiver in her office and then laughing as she got off the phone victorious and proud. She'd stand her doorway, throw her head back and tell me "That is the way the deal is done." Thanks Kazuko!****
The director of the OFH insisted that the nursing director (who shall now be referred to as Natasha, aptly named after the tall dark haired heavily accented villain in the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show) would have to go to see grandma and "evaluate" her. I went along with it, reinforcing that I was bringing grandma back tomorrow and not a day later. I also expressed concern that grandma being mostly deaf even with her hearing aids, was not going to understand a thing (quick talking! heavily accented!) Natasha said. Sure enough when I brought mom home after her surgery and showed up at the rehab Natasha and grandma were sitting in a common area looking like two long lost and reunited pals. I chatted briefly with the Natasha and when she left grandma leaned in to me and shouted "What the hell was that?!? I couldn't understand a word she said!" Told ya so.
So, mom is over another hurdle, hopefully she has a fully functioning port now, she has one more dose of chemo and 4 doses of interferon to get through and grandma is hours away from freedom and I am going to get my (morning) moment of peace, and next week we'll find out if the oral chemo dad has been taking looks like it is going to work for him. Cross your fingers, say a prayer. I guess we will all deal (or not deal-depending) with that result in our own way.
wholelottalove and good vibes coming your way!
Posted by: Laura | October 30, 2007 at 11:28 AM
Big hugs to you!
Posted by: wordgirl | October 31, 2007 at 11:47 AM