another parenting dilemma

I grew up in a two bedroom apartment. For a long time lil sis and I shared a room, and then my parents did what all the other apartment dwelling parents (at least in our building) did at the time, they converted the dining alcove into a bedroom for me. I had my very own 8 X 8 bedroom that was separated from the living room (and the biggest television in the house) by a 4 panel accordion door (so I could listen to all my parents shows) and (this was the best part) located conveniently next to the wall phone in the kitchen which could be stretched all the way to my bed! By this time of separate bedrooms we were old enough to start buying our families and friends our own holiday gifts too, so each December I would set up the gifts I had purchased under a sofa table that my stereo sat on and I would add the little wrapped up packages as I purchased them over the weeks eventually making a beautiful display worthy of a department store window. Lil sis would do something similar in her room, and I would gaze upon it as I crossed her doorway on my way to and from the bathroom, but I would never go into her room and touch it because I liked the element of surprise. To this day I would never knowingly ruin a surprise, especially one that involves a gift. As a matter of fact, if I get a gift in the mail before my birthday, I will put it aside and wait for my actual birthday to open it.

One holiday circa 1978 or so, I had my gift display all set up and looking fine. As I laid my head down on my pillow I gazed upon my carefully designed tower of gifts anticipating how delighted all the recipients would be when I realized my display had been corrupted. I sat up to investigate and discovered that lil sis had not only opened and rewrapped the gifts with her name on them, but had actually opened and rewrapped every single gift in the entire display.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that we had the following conversation the other day...

clickmom: blah blah blah... Evan

lil sis: Oh! I'm so glad you brought up Evan. There is something I have been meaning to tell you.

clickmom: What?

lil sis: Well, the last time I was at your house, I was in his room and I read that book on his night table.

clickmom: Thinking: Dammit, I have got to pay more attention to the books I let him buy.
Uh, I'm not sure what book you mean.

lil sis: I guess you could call it his journal.

clickmom: Thinking: Holy cow! She read his journal! I don't read his journal!
Does he need therapy?

lil sis: Well, I know you always say he's angry all the time, but I was pretty shocked at the things he wrote in there.

Then she went on to describe an angry warning he posted in the front about keeping out of the journal. There was an over abundance use of the F word. And a threat involving a gun. (we don't have one)

Now I am stuck with this big dilemma. So, what would you do readers? Would you read it?

Comments

[Jenny]

No, I wouldn't read it.
However, I wonder if he left it out on his table on purpose, knowing his aunt would be borrowing his room for a while.
A child therapist I took my son to a few years ago said she had a number of kids she worked with who kept blogs, or online journals, and gave her permission to read them and then discuss those things in therapy. You might look into that, because at least then there is someone he trusts who can better tell whether he's venting, or if intervention might be needed.

[Kris]

could you just tell Evan that his aunt saw what he wrote in the front of his journal and was concerned about him, that you didn't look, and ask him if he'd like to tell you about it? How do you think he would respond to that?

[Gigiheart]

yes, you better believe I would read it! I don't think it is wrong to want to help your own child! We have to think back to maybe some of the "twisted" thinking we may have had at one point during our childhood, and realize that now we can actually help one of our children when they are going through depression, anger or rage or just simply confusion! It's not wrong to know what really goes on in your own childs mind. You may never know that if he is writing things down, he is asking for help!