The first bribe I attempted was $50 bucks for anyone who caused the dangler to fall. I may or may not have suggested that one of brothers either punch him in the face or accidentally kick him in the mouth. I even may have suggested which direction I thought would be most productive. No questions asked to the baby tooth removing assistant but they had a 24 hour time limit to cash in. I got looks of disbelief from my boys, so I may or not have offered cash and/or webkins to all the kids friends too. The brothers were too chicken. I had to go and raise nice kids. Damn me. The friends, I am sure didn't think I was serious. Dumb friends, they could have gotten anything from me! The second bribe was a no holds barred shopping trip to the toy store. There was also an Apple store bribe. Josh wasn't buying any of it. He wouldn't even wiggle the damned thing, which was so loose that it would flip up and lie horizontal poking straight out his mouth so he could bite off and chew food with out dislodging it.
Then I went on that school trip of Josh's yesterday, and the dangler had gotten to hanging real low and crooked and three separate mother chaperones told me they couldn't look at Josh while speaking to him because they got nauseous from seeing it.
The husband offered Evan $10 to "take care of" it last night, I tripled the amount and gave him 5 minutes. Evan told Josh he would put him to bed and this is how the rest of it went down according to Josh: "Evan commanded me to sit on the toilet seat and I did except I was so afraid I kept my eyes closed." But the next thing I hear is Evan shouting "Mom! It's out!" and I race up the stairs cackling like an extremely happy witch to see Josh frantically rinsing with pink tinged water from a dixie cup and Evan standing there with a satisfied look of accomplishment on his face.
The only catch is that they can't find the tooth because according to Evan it went flying out, may have hit the wall, and he absolutely heard it hit the base board heater and he assumes the tooth is inside of the heater now. Evan demonstrates what he did with Josh's toothbrush to get the damned thing out. Imagine an innocent looking Batman toothbrush as an ice pick, chisel and crow bar all in one. Josh says it happened fast. He does not appear to be traumatized.
Naturally Evan (to the rescue) had to write another letter to Athena, this one being in some sort of Evan fabricated ancient anguage, but a letter with an offering of sea glass, a bullet necklace, molten copper and a black mineral/rock of some sort.
Today I handed Evan a wad of cash, dashed off to the toy store, purchased some action figures, a magna doodle, and a new sword. But I also kissed Josh right on the sweet lips for the first time in four days with out having to throw a blanket over his face so that the dangler couldn't poke out of his pucker and touch me. Good times.
LOL! Morgan did the same thing - I couldn't look at her for a week! Glad that it came out alright and Athena came through!
Posted by: Jen - Lance's Wife | June 02, 2007 at 02:35 PM