clickmom

My less than swinging New Year's Eve

So, it's New Years Eve and I am blogging, which may lead some people to believe that my life is less than one big party. Yeah, well it is way less.

I did get kind of invited to a New Year's party, but I declined. Wldmom, who knows how to both mix a mean cocktail and throw a grand party, has a neighborhood get together at her place for New Years, and Evan wanted to go run with the boys. (We are in adjoining neighborhoods, which is reason enough to move if you ask me) So I called and asked her if Evan could crash her party, she generously said he could and then tried to get my sorry ass to attend her party too. But you know what, Jackie is having her own little dance party already over here on my jaw, and I'll be damned if I am going to take her out. It's bad enough she is always hanging around while I do the boring day to day, but there shall be no party for Jackie. For a while today, I thought that maybe Jackie had slipped the knitting needle out of my ear and replaced it with a slimmer less painful crochet needle, but now I am not so sure. I just can't tell with her. She is too unpredictable. Also, while I was painting Josh's awesome room today (Oh my goodness it is coming along so well!) I got paint on my favorite completely styless but easy to slip on while running out the door late for school again mom clogs, and I somehow threw my back out (just a little) bit trying to wipe them off. The fun never ends here! I am going to drop Evan off, and hopefully he will not be the instigator of any fires, explosions or the reason the neighbors summon the police. The husband has agreed to pick him up around 10.

I will be here, at home, with the husband, Matt and Josh, (two of whom have a nasty head cold) enjoying a few of our Blockbuster selections, along with at least the other 28 people who waited patiently in line with us at Blockbuster today, so I am thinking that I am not alone in my lack of partying here in Stepford.

One of my favorite radio stations is currently playing a "Top 100 All Time Best Party Songs". I am proud to report that I know way more songs than my hopelessly nerdy husband, and even more than my not quite into music yet children. I do have a slight amount of guilt over making them listen to lite music for all these years. Eventually they will have some make up to do. After watching Matt and Josh dance to a few songs I can without a doubt declare them the whitest boys ever. But, luckily for me, I always found myself eerily attracted to the guys who danced like they were either acting out a Shakespearean play or on mushrooms. I can tell you one thing for sure, there will be no professional dancing for my babies. I'd tell you how Evan dances, but he has been in the bathroom for 30 minutes (because that is how long he stays in there for, I know, I worry too) and he hasn't had the opportunity to dance yet.

There is some champagne chilling, so I will try hard to make it awake until 12, but honestly, that is way past my bed time and I was already falling asleep on the couch earlier today during day light hours while humoring Matt and trying to watch Talladega Nights.

Wish me luck, and Happy New Years!

PS Thanks to Elena for helping to boost my comments there on that last post! I am patiently waiting for 1,000 comments (about 100 more to go) and then I'll find a way to celebrate. (See? Any excuse to party!)

and she served chicken two nights in a row!

This is what I don't understand. Finslippy (who I can't link you to since I am the old not updated in 2 years lap top, but if you are reading me and you don't know who Finslippy is, then give me your address I'll send you a cash prize- kidding!) posted about her kid and his finicky eating habits and got 100 comments as of right now. That is ONE F'ING HUNDRED COMMENTS! Now, I have issues with her since I feel that she has abandoned her personal blog for other more profitable ventures. I am all over a blogger who blogs regularly, but not one who disappears for weeks at a time and is then rewarded with comments in the triple digits. Since she has been posting only every other week or so, who knows how many more comments about her chicken cutlets will trickle in before she decides to post again. It just doesn't seem fair.

Not that I am hung up on comments or anything like that (Pfffttt! Hung up on comments? Moi?) But Matt had a Buffalo Chicken Sub with fries and onion rings (the deep fried chicken cutlets didn't have enough cholesterol on it's own), Evan had a Turkey Club with fries but no tomato and Josh had the kids Hot Dog with Cheese on it and (naturally) fries. There was disgusting red Jello and vanilla ice cream for dessert.

I dare you.

room remodeling, Jackie and balls

In the past two days, all within the freshly painted stench of Josh's 1/2 way painted room, I have changed a light bulb 4 times, thrown one newly broken lamp into the trash, and treated one top of the foot 1st degree light bulb burn. Currently there are 6 paint bottomed socks our home, one navy blue paint stained pillow case, and don't ever think you'll see the shirt and sweats I have been wearing the past three days.

The kids have a serious block regarding the whole "Wipe the brush so it doesn't drip" method of painting I am trying to get them to employ. They are more of the drip all over everything including the finished walls method, which causes me agita. I think this will be more of a Mom effort and less of a group effort for how ever long it takes me to finish. I gave the navy another chance at coverage today, and it looks like I am going to have to get creative around the less than perfect coverage. I hope I am up to it.

As far as Jackie is concerned, she has me raising the white flag here. I give up, she can have whatever she wants if only she would just go away. She isn't going down easy, and her niggling pointy pain has me completely worn out. Seriously, every time anyone asks about her, I just cry from the utter frustration of it all. Mostly, I have been popping Advil (At least I am not double dosing the Alleve anymore) and trying to keep my focus on other things, just trying not to remind myself how tired I am from the not sleeping well and how irritable I become every time the last dose of painkiler starts to wear off. I am even starting to fall out of love with the herbal heating pad. I just want to not think about my jaw. I vaguely remember being blissfully oblivious about my jaw, and I liked it that way.

I took the kids into the city to see grandma today. Grandma wasn't doing well, so we spent a couple of hours in her apartment with her before we went down to the playground with out her for a quick run around before getting back into the car. As we walked into the playground Matt and I passed two young boys attempting to retrieve their ball from a mucky puddle of questionable origin. I leaned over and whispered to the boys that they should wash their hands. I walked on, but Matt didn't. He kept talking to the boys and when he caught up to me he said "I tried to be helpful, but not too helpful, since I didn't want those kids to run up to their mothers shouting "Mommy, some nice man helped us wash our balls!"

vacation day 6

I woke up at 8 to hear all sorts of clattery sounds in the house. In my semi-confused stage of half consciousness I called out to the husband , who didn't answer, and then I realized that he had said goodbye to me on his way to work. I also realized in my half haze that if I was sleeping then all the kids must be sleeping, and it was the cleaners who were in my house while I was in bed naked. I (not entirely) gracefully leapt out of bed, grabbed my robe, and most likely somewhat incoherently since I know my eyes were still unable to focus I am sure my still swollen throbbing (thanks, Jackie) jaw wasn't moving smoothly, softly called to them that the whole house was asleep and could they come back a little later. Once they realized we were here, (and Yes, I am wondering why they didn't seem to notice my truck in the driveway) they high tailed it out the door, and they haven't returned. Poopers. If they don't come back that means I have to make every single bed in the house since I stripped them all in anticipation of asking the cleaners to put on the clean sheets. I hate housework.

I went to the chiro who told me that I still had a long way to go before I could write Jackie off. She has that kind of steely determination. She isn't ready to leave. Chiro also checked my detox reflexes, since they have completely fallen by the way side since the arrival of Jackie, and he declared my liver stressed. I was like, "Do you even want to guess how much pain killer I have taken the last 9 days?" (And yes, I only made it 36 hours without, I had to have some in order to do what appears to be sleeping, but is in actuality the old familiar toss-n-turn all night long.) I may or may not have forgotten to tell him that along with the painkillers there has been some, uh, comfort food, happening too. If he can't figure that one out, well, come on, I don't pretend that I am mysteriously fat, I admit to eating everything that isn't tied down.

I came home and all three boys had their faces in a computer, we are such a geek family, and I didn't know what to do. FInally I ordered the computers shut down, gathered up a weeks worth of laundry (all 88 pounds of it) and got every one and the laundry in the car. There was lunch at the sandwich shop, barely detectable haircuts for Evan and Josh, a stop at the laundromat with the weeks worth of laundry (Hey, Jackie does not like me to bend at the waist- what was I going to do?) another stop at Whole Foods, and a final stop at the hardware for more Navy paint. This time, I was being helped by the middle aged guy who works there all the time, and not just when his Dad makes him because he is on break from college. When I ordered my can of navy blue paint he asked me if I would like the primer that one is supposed to use under the paint to achieve better coverage. I had an "AHA" moment there. After choking on my own spit for a few minutes I asked him how I was supposed to know I needed special primer. He showed me what those mysterious extra numbers on the paint chip meant. Then, on a hunch, I told him which roller I was given by the youthful sales guy the last time, and guess what he said to that! He said "That one won't put any paint on the wall for you, take this one here." So, now I have a new can of navy paint. a roller that will apply a nice smooth thick layer of paint to the ceiling, and the home email address of the guy from the hardware store because I told him what I attempting here and I really want him to see the glorious navy mural work of art that I am creating.

Then, as if I needed (and I do, really I do, I need one) a human angel in my life, I dropped Evan off at Boops' house for a sleep over with her kid. Ahhhhh. The difference between two kids and three kids, especially when the missing kid is Evan is amazing. No one is complaining! The house is so quiet! And I am so happy!

Tonight there is a babes get together at WIldmom's house. I want to see my babes so much, but honestly, this whole Jackie thing has me totally depleted. She is most definitely not a babe and can't be in the club. We are not supposed to bring outsiders in to our private meetings, lest they steal our sacred rituals and secrets and share them with the world. I want to go, but I do not want to have to bring HER. I feel like I don't have the energy to participate in a discussion with HER hanging on me all the time like this. It's a movie night too, and really, I am getting a bit anxious about finishing Josh's room. I am down on the babe interaction, but may not be good for just sitting.

I'd like to freeze the world and spend about 15 hours in Josh's room. Once I get into a little project like this I tend to be just a little bit manic (which I know can not be done) and just need to finish it right away and at the expense of all other daily duties. It could potentially sound something like this: "What? You mean you want dinner too? I just made you lunch like 5 hours ago? Gimmee and I want, that's all I get from you kids! Jeez!! Can't you see that I am busy?"

I'll be going over there, to movie night at Wildmom's, but am not sure I am going to stay. I have to see. Tomorrow I have planned on visiting Grandma, and that has me stressed out too. Her memory is fading fast, and it is her entire memory, old stuff and new stuff. I am sure she won't even know me soon. It just eats me up. She'll be 95 soon. All I want to do is move her out here near me so I can see her more often and maybe keep her more alert. I wish I was in charge of her, that is all I have to say about that.

Wait, how did I end on a low note? Oooops. Sorry.

PS The cleaners just arrived and I found out that when they came this morning and the house was so suspiciously quiet, he did go into my room to see what was going on, and did view me lying naked in bed. I think I was mostly covered, (the important parts anyways) but will not, in any case, be looking the cleaner directly in the eyes anytime in the near future. God help me, I need him too.

things to consider

So, when I said I would have "before and after" photos of my little project in Josh's room by the end of this week, I was high. OK, I haven't technically been high since 1987, but for sure someone must have slipped something into my liver detox shake cause clearly I was very much hallucinating, or something, which is also what I must have been doing when I decided that navy blue was a good paint color.

For the ceiling.

I know, I know.
Well, NOW I know, but it's too late.

Without giving too many details away, cause I totally want to blow your mind with the aforementioned photos, (some day but not likely to be this week) I will now provide, as a public service for any other confused folks out there, who might be tossing around some ideas about sprucing up a room for their kids.

CLICKMOM'S:
THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE ATTEMPTING A ROOM MAKE OVER

1. Just how many coats of navy blue paint are required for even coverage? (hint: so far more than 1 per each of my kids- have not achieved even coverage yet)
2. Just how much are you willing to spend on additional room lighting to counter effect the utter darkness of navy blue paint?
3. If your plan is to use a small disposable roller, and stand on a chair to reach anything high (because you are just a tiny bit afraid of ladders) then how do you think you are going to reach the spot in the middle of the ceiling when all the furniture has been pushed to the center of the room? Huh?
4. How many people in your house will only want to help until you yell at them the very first time for dripping the paint?
5. How many people in your house have never uttered the words "Do you need help?" in nearly 17 years of marriage? And why in the world would they ever start when what you are doing is painting the ceiling navy?
6. Have you considered the cave like effect of painting the ceiling navy?

and

7. Are you absolutely sure your kid is going to love this design until he goes to college? Cause a) that is how long it might take me to finish and b) I'll choke him to with in an inch of his life if he ever even suggests he wants me to paint over it.

Yeah, I am so going to enjoy the last few days of 2006.

PS Jackie continues to fade, I think she can't hold on much longer! I win!

vacation day 4

I can tell that Jackie (if you don't know who Jackie is yet, scroll down 2 posts, I am too tired to link this) has one foot out the door. Really, I think she wants to leave. I am hoping she is looking at me and wondering why she even bothered to come in the first place. If only she could get her lobster claw to release it's grip on the right side of my chin and also get that damned knitting needle out of my right ear, then she could simply pack it all up and be free to go.

I went back to the chiro today, and admitted to him that even though I saw him on Saturday morning and he treated me so sweetly, reassuring me I would indeed live (but not pain free, there was no pain free guarantee) through the rest of the weekend, I felt like I needed more, I was feeling vulnerable and needy, so I cheated on him with a stranger and got me some cranial sacral therapy on the sly. I admitted that it did help take me down half a notch on the pain scale, but clearly, I still have places to go. I wasn't leaving him. I still needed him. It's just a physical thing. I felt so guilty people, but honestly, I would, and I probably will do it again if I have the chance, I have to fulfill my own needs. The chiro is a nice guy, but I need more. I could see the light in his eyes fade, as he came to the recognition that he would never be enough for me. Maybe I am just one of those girls, never satisfied with only one kind of alternative medicine.

Nah, seriously, chiro worked me over, and now there is even less numbness. I told him about my smile hypothesis and after some testing he determined that with a smile I was pulling on the irritated nerve. He told me not to smile. Woo Hoo, I am looking good folks! Don't they say that frowning causes wrinkles? As if I didn't look wiped enough!

You will be so happy to know that I am pain killer free for the first time in a week, and as scary as I thought that would be, the increase in niggling little pain versus the stress of waiting to burp up my own stomach lining was a close call, but I went with the pain. I have tasted that stomach lining before and I am more of medium well girl than a steak tar tar, if you know what I mean.

Matt woke up sick with a cold and cough today, and this means that we took it easy today, which was what the boys wanted anyways. While the boys helped int heir own special manly ways, I taped off parts of Josh's room today, because one of my goals for this vacation is to paint a spectacular wall mural in there, (I'll bet you didn't know how multi faceted I am, did you?) All the boys want to help me, and that could be a huge disaster, but I am going to let them help, and this should be interesting to imagine me letting go of my tight enough to choke freak reigns, especially when I already know in my mind precisely how I want every thing to look. I'll be doing a lot of relaxation technique in Josh's room this week. (And probably a fair amount of crabby screaming, but I may not admit to that in front of the authorities) I am not sharing details on the room yet, hopefully I'll have before and after photos by the end of the break.

Tomorrow I am taking the boys to a local production of The Nutcracker and right now I am wondering why I committed to this. Honestly, it sign #37 that I should be committed. As if Christmas wasn't a big enough drag for a lone Jewish family living in Stepford, now I am taking my three science fiction type sons to the ballet. When they beg me to leave at intermission I am going to say YES. I'm fairly certain there isn't enough candy to keep my boys there for the full thing. I know, you think that maybe there is a chance I am underestimating them, and you know, maybe there is, but in any case, my money says that I'll be in the silver behemoth SUV pealing out of the parking lot half way through the performance. I'll have to make sure to get there early so I can get a spot that is easy to leave from. I'm just wondering what sort of penance I'll have to pay afterwards when they hound me with the "What were you thinking Mom?" question over and over.

vacation day 3/ How we do Xmas day

As is our nuclear family Christmas day tradition, we once again attended the Big Apple Circus at Lincoln Center along with the Glickman's and the Stein's of the NYC metropolitan area. Typically we bring along my grandma, but this year we thought it would be too difficult for her to come since she barely ever leaves the house, can't tolerate the cold weather, and there is the whole issue of her aide and everything. I made the decision to leave her out, but I gotta tell you, I feel totally guilty about it. Normally it always seems to be either freezing or pouring when we go to the circus, so I passed on her ticket. Today, though was unusually mild for this time of year. Grandma spends the whole circus staring at my kids instead of the performers and really delights in just watching the boys enjoy themselves. If I had known months ago when we got the tickets that the weather today was going to be so mild, I would have included her. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

We did invite my SIL and her brood to come with us, (I know, I know, crazy) a decision which had me more and more in knots as the day approached, and I began to dread witnessing the verbal abuse that my nieces receive from their parents. I don't know why I don't think these things through before we get all nice and generous.

Naturally, Jackie came along, but today's Jackie was different than yesterday's Jackie. Yesterday's Jackie was angry, sharp and spiteful, today's Jackie made her presence known in a more subtle way. I knew she was there, but she wasn't as distracting. Part of the reason for her good behavior is that I think I figured out what annoys her, and sadly, what annoys Jackie, other than brushing my front teeth (I know, my teeth, they feel, well, yuck) is me smiling. She first got ugly with me after I met some babes for coffee last week, and I wondered if sipping my beverage (I got herbal tea-blech) through the toxic plastic cup topper had made her angry with me, I thought maybe I was making some hostile kind of sucking gesture with the cup topper. But then yesterday when I was at Whole Foods stocking up for the holiday, I ran into a dozen people I knew, had to chat and wish every one well, and also rub it into their faces that I was past my holiday and not having to cook for a crowd (hahaha) and she got all impatient and started to act up then too, and I realized I had a big smile plastered on my face. As soon as I wiped the smile off my face, and gave her a good relaxing rub into submission and she piped back down. So, no more smiling. Oy vey, what a farbissenah** this Jackie has turned out to be.

Since picky little Jackie was liking the heat and I, goody two shoes hostess that I am, am all about keeping Jackie happy, I picked up an even bigger herbal heating pad, along with a homeopathic anti-inflammatory cream, and heated and creamed her all evening last night. I managed to pass right on by the wine aisle, I just wasn't in the mood. I heated her a few times this morning, and crossed my fingers that she would behave at the circus. If Jackie needed heat at the circus I was going to have to buy one of those pre-bagged burgers and smoosh it into my face. Not exactly the lovely scent of lavender I have gotten used to here. Thankfully, she never stepped that far out of line. Every time I forgot myself and started to smile a bit Jackie would perk up and start to elbow me, and I would quickly jam a knuckle into my face to break the jovial mood and return to the stern and grim face I have been wearing for the past few days. It worked, but it's really wearing me down.

I managed to get through the day with out any tear inspiring Jackie flare ups, and I think that maybe I am just a little less swollen than I was yesterday, so it maybe premature to commit to anything yet, but maybe just maybe Jackie has taken that advice that goes like, "Guests are like fish, after 3 days they begin to..." you know. Right now I am focusing on (and just about giddy with) the possibility of sleeping through the night tonight. I haven't done that for a week, and honestly, it makes me all weepy. Clickmom does not do well with interrupted sleep, I am a wreck.

** Yiddish word of the day: Farbissenah: sourpuss, truculent, "crabby"

Introducing: JACKIE

I have named my throbbing nerve. Initially I thought Evan would be happy if I named it after the girl he found most annoying to him, I assumed it would be a girl named Susan, and Susan fit fine with me. Then he declared Michaela to be the most annoying girl ever, and Michaela just didn't fit my nerve right. So, I finally decided on a name of my own, there were two annoying Jackie's in my life. One was a kleptomaniac that went to my sleep-away camp and the other annoying Jackie of my life was my upstairs neighbor on 75th street who used to do things like assault me in the hallway when I was suffering with bronchitis to tell me she hadn't slept the night before because I had kept her up with my coughing.

Me and my own personal face Jackie, as in Jackie my irritated face nerve, had another long night together last night. I thought that maybe she would respond to the reflexology nicely since the rest of my face was in agreement that my bite was finally right on, but Jackie wasn't as thrilled as the rest of it was. Then I brushed my teeth, and apparently she is territorial when it comes to those front teeth, which I swore to her I would not brush for a few days if she just let it slide this once, but no, Jackie had a little temper tantrum, which I managed due to my utter exhaustion from not sleeping since last Wednesday to fall asleep during, but then she decided at 12:30 that I had slept enough and she kicked it into high gear for the night. I tried as best I could to ignore her, but you know how those demanding types are, the more I ignored Jackie, the craftier she got, finding new ways to niggle at me, until I was fully awake. Once fully awake, I decided that maybe my icing routine of the past 4 days wasn't what she needed and instead I got an herbal heat pack, tossed it into the microwave, and cuddled her up in herbally warmth, while I watched Sex, Lies and Video Tape for the 17th time on cable tv. Just as James Spader decided to rip up his psycho weird tapes I thought I felt Jackie nodding off for the night. I continued to watch while I waited to be sure she was fast asleep. The heat had worked! So, I slowly slid down in the bed and caught a few more hours of sleep. I am still tired and cranky today. It wasn't enough.

Today she is swollen. She looks like the dentist left one those cottony tootsie roll things inside my right lower lip. I gave her the heat treatment again this morning when she got a little pissy and it seems to help her calm down. I guess I won't be getting too far from a heat pack in the next few days. I wish I knew what to do for a Jackie, but I haven't got a clue how to make her behave. Also, it's Christmas eve and a Sunday, (Note to self: no more dental surgery right before a major holiday) so even if I knew who to see about her I doubt they would be there. I guess I'll check out the homeopathy aisles in Whole Foods, but I am more confident that my answer will be in the wine aisle, at least for the short term.

Jackie and I plan on doing a couple of errands this morning. We are going to pick up some paint to do a big paint job and mural of the universe in Josh's bedroom, and then we are going to stop by Whole Foods to stock up for the next couple of days so we can eat right along with you Christmas celebrators (except for the spiral cut ham part ). And that is about my plans. Maybe I'll get the husband to take the kids to the movies or something. I don't think Jackie is up for a movie, she proved not to be a musical kind of girl yesterday, as she acted up not once, but twice during the show, and I am not about giving that bitch any second chances. Jackie and I will not be attending any shows together soon, with maybe the exception of a babes movie night planned for sometime next week, I am waiting to hear the details on that. (Wildmom, you are in charge of finding a movie! Don't forget!)

Hoping you all have a fabo Christmas eve, and for all of those Chanukah celebrators out there -Hurray it's over!!! See ya later.

winter vacation day 1

We had tickets for a Broadway show today. We went with little sis and her husband and two kids, Boops, her two kids, and Boops' boyfriend and his daughter. There were 14 of us all together. The show was fabulous, I would recommend it to anyone thinking about going, especially people with kids. My kids all loved it, but Matt loved it most, saying it was "so deep" and the person who thought it up was a "total genius".

Before the show we all went to lunch. I asked the husband (who is incredibly good at finding restaurants and making reservations) to find a kid friendly place with a few blocks of our theater, and we went to an amazing Brazilian Buffet. I had my fingers crossed hoping there would be kid friendly stuff for the kids, as well as decent adult type fair and I was thrilled. It couldn't have been yummier. Matt, (obviously he is the family barometer) was delighted. They had both turkey and steak wrapped in bacon. He was in paradise. He walked out of lunch declaring "I love Brazil! I want to buy it! " (very much his father's son) I also recommend this buffet.

It is so interesting to me lately, now that little sis and I are both adults with our own lives to see how similar we are. As kids we dealt with life and our situations in opposite ways, but as adults I see that we are more similar than different. We almost always have the same reactions to the things that we see on tv or read about. If I get an email that I don't know how to interpret I forward it to her and her reaction is always the same as mine. Our very different husbands piss us off in the exact same way, and what we say to them is word for word the same too. I know our voices sound similar and our laughs do too.

Towards the end of the play today, right during the big emotional climax duet, as little sis and I sat there totally absorbed in the bittersweet moment, my 3 1/2 year old niece who was sitting next to me on little sisters lap, asked in a curiously and slightly alarming to a mother's ears muffled voice "Can you see my fingers?" Little sis and I looked down simultaneously to see my tiny little sweet niece gazing up at us with the fingers of both her hands crammed as far into her mouth as she could get them. It was so opposite of the climate of the play that we both began to nervous/silly giggle. And then we began shake. We were giggling and shaking (trying our hardest to stifle our laughter) in unison, which made us giggle even more. Then, as I was giggling in unison with little sis, I recalled how many great laughs we have had making our mother laugh so hard she had to stumble/limp/run to the bathroom cross legged, and that just added to the moment. Then through my laughter I realized that both of our very different husbands were shushing us in unison as we shook and gasped for air. It was delicious.

On the way home, I arranged for some reflexology with a new lady (my lady had already gone for the night) and she worked me over good. I think my jaw problems (cross your fingers for me, I have had a hard time of it here) might be almost straightened out now. I have to remember to go that route earlier next time. I seem to respond to it faster than the chiro.

It was such a nice way to start the kids vacation. I hope I can keep it strong. I'd like to have a really good one, especially since we are staying home for it.

long night ahead dread

I'm in hell. I went on Tuesday to get a titanium post put into my jaw so that I could have a fake replacement tooth for one that rotted out. I am in so much pain I am piggy backing Advil and Alleve in attempt to reduce the swelling because I suspect there is some kind of freaky nerve irritation that is causing me to weep with the agony of it all. The chiro says my jaw, neck and skull are way out, he thinks it's a nerve. The dentist thinks it's a nerve from the slight swelling in my mouth. I think "Knock me out until I unswell." I want pain killers!

Just know, internet that I had unmedicated births, one of which turned into a crazy unanesthetized c-section, during which I did not cry, so I have an incredible high pain threshold and am tough as nails and yet, I sit here weeping, wincing and clutching my jaw today. Maybe if there would be a bundle of joy at the end, or I had a few seconds between the waves of pain, or if I even knew there was going to be a freaking end to this pain, I could keep myself in check, but I am suffering people. And now it's night here, and the pain, as all pain somehow seems to do, has been magnified about five fold, and will likely continue to pulse through my jaw all night long. It's going to be a long night. I am not anxious to go to bed.

I'm drooling like a baby. I have new appreciation for the teething crowd. And opiates. Or maybe even barbituates.