Survived my shopping expedition today. I decided that since I couldn't find a friend who was willing to hold my hand, (and I tried!) that I would start in Nordstrom, where the very nice sales ladies are all too eager to hold your hand.
My first stop was ...... the coffee counter, facing this Mount Everest without something warm and creamy by my side was not even a possibility.
Stop two: the lingerie department, where I found a delightful young woman with an afro as broad as her shoulders and a smile to match who helped me find something with a little tummy control. Did you know they have control top underwear the comes up to your bra AND EVEN HAS STRAPS TO ANCHOR IT TO YOUR BRA so it won't roll back down? I didn't know that! Ofcourse, the obvious question arose, which was "If my undies are strapped to my bra, what happens when I've been indulging in the beverage area?" I mean, I looked and there was no convenient bra hook thing in the crotch area. Guess what you have to do? Yup, the bathing suit treatment, you have to pull it to the side and cross your fingers. (but not at the same time!) Except I am thinking that if my bathing suit gets, ummmm...."in the way" I can always jump in the pool and no one is the wiser, but if my undies get "in the way" and I still have some partying to do..... Well, let's just hope that the other guests have all been imbibing in the festivity beverages too.
As usual, I (the needy type) completely bonded with my surrogate mother, I mean sales lady. When she asked if I needed any bras, I mumbled something about them probably not carrying my size. She said that they did indeed carry my size and set me up with a brand new Walcoal bra that costs as much as a good pair of shoes, but damn the girls look perky! And those of you who are steady readers will rest easy tonight knowing that I, clickmom, am among the 2% of women who actually wear their correct bra size, yes readers, I let her measure me!
Stop three: The womens department: Fickle shpper that I am , I hooked up with a new very helpful sales lady who magically knew what would look good on me! Gotta love a professional! She kept carrying in new "outfits" and oddly enough the pieces that she picked out looked pretty good, while the pieces I picked out made me look like I should be riding a horse, in 1890. Don't ask. Anyways, I walked out of Nordstron with a black A line (I didn't know that is what it was called but my sales lady told me) coat to wear, (now I dont have to go to fancy occasions in my light blue ski-jacket) a jaunty little black suit to wear to services for the Bar Mitzvah on Saturday, a smashing pair of black velvet pants, and a red chinese looking top to wear or a black and red see through sleeves kid of top.
Stop four: Macy's, which was a reminder why a non-shopper like me is way better off at Nordstroms. There was no helpful sales lady bringing me alternates or exchanging sizes. There was a sale going on so it was crowded in the store and thankfully when I got to the dressing room, I got the spacious handicapped room, because believe me I AM HANDICAPPED WHILE IN A DEPARTMENT STORE. I tried on a bunch of tops and quickly realized why the selection is so much smaller at Nordstroms. At Nordstroms they don't carry junky clothes. BUT, alas, I found a couple more, passed on the Ralph Lauren ruffle top, because I figure ruffle tops really aren't in ever truly going to be in style again, and managed to come home with two alternate shirts to pair with the velvet pants for my babe friend's holiday party. At the check out I snagged two big cozy soft on sale sweaters and tossed them in with my party clothes.
I wanted to snag some new eye shadow on my way out of the mall, and strategically parked close to the make up store for this convenience, but was so close to hyperventilating from the sheer effort of all that shopping, (and having no help in Macy's) that I just grabbed my handy dandy hyperventilating paper bag, applied it to my face, and bee lined for the parking lot.
But readers, I did it! And, the very exciting news is my top size, which I had somehow convinced myself would never come down from 3x-or the largest size ever made. My top size is down, and by the next time I need to shop, I may actually be, gulp, in a ladies (as in not womens) size!! Today I fit into 1x and size 18 tops. I am just shocked.
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