feelin guilty

Last spring we had too many critters in our house. We had a bird that we had been bird sitting for 10 months, a goldfish that was won at a carnival 3 years ago, the devil dog, Matt's hamster and two albino grow-a-frogs. Every morning I had a whole feeding routine going on. We were about to leave for summer and we needed to eliminate some of the critters. Taking them all back and forth to the island was going to be too much, so we called the bird's owner and arranged for her to hop a plane to California. That was easy.

Then the husband came up with the idea for a "Freedom Ceremony" for the grow-a-frogs. Now, since it was me who had read the literature, raised the tad poles, fed them and cleaned the water, I knew these lab frogs were not going to make it in the wild. I hated them. I resented every moment of their existence. In a million years I would never buy those frogs for my kids. It was a birthday gift for Evan when he was 4. Hello!! A four year old can not take care of pets! Mommies do not want frogs! Jeez. I never liked that mom in the first place, but the grow a frogs just cemented that one for me. So, for 4 long years I took care of these most useless pets that are nocturnal! Yes, they would lie there motionless all day and then start bumping around in the aquarium the second I turned the lights out at night. It was like owning an owl.

So, a day before we left for the island, Evan and I took the frogs down to a little nature area near his school, for the "Freedom Ceremony" and released them into the tiny body of water there. Evan was teary for the little critters that he never even seemed to know were even there. I knew the frogs would soon be history, but for Evan's sake chatted about how much room they would have, and how happy they would be in the little nature area.

All summer long Evan would bring up the frogs and wonder how they were doing, and if they stayed where we released them or swam away to another spot. He often mentioned that he'd like to visit them. Inside I was screaming "What? You didn't know they were alive when they were on the kitchen counter for the last 4 years?!?!". but outside I would just try to distract him and I totally ended up feeling ever more guilty every time.

So, this is my confession. I raised those frogs for 4 years and then I killed them. I killed my sons pet frogs. I feel so guilty.