If there is one thing I hate it is mumblers. I am not talking about the kind of people who talk so low that they can not be heard. I am talking about the kind of people who say mean things under their breath and I always end up hearing them. In my experience mumblers only say mean things. I have yet to over hear any one ever mumbling anything like "She's fantastic." or "Great meal, how does she do it?"
Now, to be fair, I come from a long line of mumblers, my grandmother and mother both share that trait, and I am not among the most secure of gals, so when I encounter a new mumbler, I bring a fair amount of baggage with me in response to their insensitive remarks.
Enter Susan, the husband invited a work friend and his family to spend the day with us. They arrived at lunch time so I had prepared a feast for our two families to share. We ate out at the dock, so I used paper plates, but real cutlery. We all ate well, sat around chatting, and at the end of the meal decided to go for a boat ride. I said I had to clear the picnic table, so being guests with good manners, they all grabbed something and helped me move everything back into the house. While I reloaded the food stuff into the fridge, I heard Susan say "So wasteful, it's so wasteful." under her breath.
Being a host with good manners, I didn't spin around and start screaming at her, but really, give me a freaking break! I so totally wanted to hurt her. I wanted to ram her head into the floor repeatedly while screaming "Get the freak over yourself, Miss High and Mighty!" She looked pretty weak, I thought I could definitely take her. (Baggage remember?) I assumed she was talking about the use of paper products, since I was saving all the food, but truthfully don't know.
Back to hurting her, HOW DARE SHE? Rude, rude, rude. Even if that slut ho was thinking it, why not just keep it to her skanky self? Am I right? I mean, I didn't hear her say "No" to the special veggie burgers I purchased just for her? They were served on paper plates. She never once asked for a glass instead of paper while sucking up all of the husbands diet coke. (Which incidentally, came in a wasteful plastic two liter bottle)
Notice to any good friends and close family members: If I become a mumbler in my advanced age, just grab the rifle and take me down, it is just not who I want to be.
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