The boating class is over. The first night Matt and I were passing notes. Mine said “Help!” his said “I’m doomed!” It was three days of mind numbing torture. There were moments when I thought about stabbing my thigh with a pencil to maintain awareness. I learned stuff that I’ll never have to know, since the boat will never make it out of the lake and much of the class was about boating on open seas.
I know all about buoys, and how to steer my way to open seas. I know what to do if a tug boat pulling a barge crosses my path. (unlikely on this lake) I know what to do when gassing up the boat (sniff for fumes before starting up the engine, gas cans filled on the dock not in the boat) I even know the correct part of the boat to step on when climbing in from the dock. But what I do not know is how to turn the boat on, or make it go. I asked husband if friendly boat donor planned on showing us how to do such trivial things and he didn’t think so. Oh, canoe, canoe, canoe.
On the third and final night of lessons, the teacher announced that several students would be taking the exam during the second half of class. On my way out of the lecture hall, I paused to ask a couple if the questions on the test were the same as the questions in the book. They said the questions were identical. Hoooooo-ray.
Matt and I spent the next day reading the correct answers out of the practice book, and when we were given the tests he cried out in joy “I’m NOT doomed!” 45 minutes later the three of us walked out with our temporary licenses. Matt was so happy. He walked out and said “Call me Captain Matt!” to his 6 foot 7 inch 240 lb father who was assigned the role of Polly for the rest of the evening. Polly did not enjoy the game, but Captain Matt was so relieved that he laughed and sang for the next hour. He celebrated with vegan chocolate chip pound cake.
Polly’s only thoughts on the class: “Well, those are four evenings of my life that I’ll never get back.”
Me, I’m still fantasizing about a canoe!
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