I feel like I have been part of a giant educational experiment. I taught school for 3 1/2 years in NYC before leaving to give birth and raise my first child. The first school year I taught in East Harlem, The 2 1/2 years after that I taught in the Tremont section of the Bronx. Our students were practically all minority, came from a variety of backgrounds, which sometimes included two caring and hard working parents, but more commonly included teen age parents, single parents, foster parents, drugs, alcohol, crime, jail, illiteracy, and language barriers. But, kids being kids, I found the greatest joys in teaching them. They were beautiful, curious, and eager to please.
Dealing with their parents was a different story. The parents of my students were not typically interested in what was going on our classroom, or helpful with the homework I assigned each evening. Some parents even went as far as standing on the opposite side of the cement yard we dismissed the children into, waving at me from a distance to release their child, so that I did not have the opportunity to discuss their child’s progress or behavior with them. Back then, before cell phones, many of our students came from homes with no phone, and we were advised not to walk around the unsafe neighborhood. It was impossible to communicate with parents who did not wish to be involved.
When I moved to the suburbs I was thrilled with the possibilities of public education. I imagined the classrooms full of students who came to school each day with years of experiential knowledge to draw on, all prepared, well fed, well read, knowing their basics, and with out the drug, alcohol, and emotional problems that plagued my inner city kids. I imagined the fabulous hands on projects my children’s teachers would be able to complete, the cutting edge teaching techniques they would be able to employ, the creativity that would be oozing out of every classroom door, and the freedom these suburban teachers would have because I was sure the students would all be well behaved and problem free.
I was naive. Boy, was I naive. Here I am, years later, still in the suburbs and still surprised at the number of kids out here with emotional and behavior problems, on medication, with ADD, and the amount of kids that are held back by their parents. I am also surprised at the number of parents who think they know what is best for all kids. The parents out here in the burbs are quite a vocal group, half demanding more work, and half demanding less, half wanting longer school days, half insisting on shorter school days. The gossip, do not get me started on the gossip.
But what strikes me the most odd out here is the adversarial relationship the parents have with the teachers and administrators. The teachers sure do seem to hate us, and honestly, who can blame them? As a whole we parents are pushy and demanding, and seem to believe the needs of our own children come before the needs of the whole, and parents forget that the teachers are the alleged experts in the field. After all, the teachers are the one’s with the Masters degrees, right?
If our children all need such individualized attention, maybe the public school system just isn’t for them? If we parents think we have all the answers, perhaps we should bear the responsibility of educating our children ourselves. Or maybe we should just step back, let the schools do what they do, accept our school’s strengths and weaknesses, and let the cards lie where they fall. That’s what my mom did, and I couldn’t be any smarter.
Comments