The Funeral

2/7/05

Went to the military funeral of an 18 year old this weekend. It was so sad. There was nothing but silence. The air was still, the sun beat down on the backs of the many mourners and and all you could hear was the distant sound of an occasional bird until the gun salute rocked the earth, and the bugler tore at our hearts with taps. Then the flag was folded and you could hear weeping coming from the crowd of hundreds of people. There were moms holding their kids and kids holding their moms. This poor mom has no other kid to hold on to. I don’t know how she will be able to go on. I don’t think I could be so strong. I am not sure how she was even able to attend the funeral. I wept for her behind my camera, imagining the pain she is in, and my heart breaking for her. She has no child.

Later.....

I happened to walk into the office when B was about to discuss with M which photos to use. There is a very emotional photo of the parents receiving the flag. I think it is the most powerful photo. M was concerned about offending the parents. I asked him to use it, since I feel that the photo really speaks to the ceremony, and he agreed. I am hoping that I do not offend anyone by using such a personal and painful photo. I know the daily papers use them all the time, but do we as a small local paper have a different standard? Should we use a more bland photo instead of a painful one to spare the victims further pain? Is it our responsibility to tell and show the truth even if it hurts? Where is the line? As an artist I want powerful images, but as a human, I certainly do not want to add to anyone's pain. I hope I did the right thing.

2/11 I am so happy. Last night our local reporter called me after a township meeting to say that she had been speaking with a local official, who happens to be the god mother of the young man who died so tragiclly. The God Mother said that the parents thought the photos were beautiful and would very much like a copy of them. Whew! I was so relieved to hear that. I was so hoping that I could create a beautiful last memory for them and now I know I did. I am so relieved not to have contributed to their sorrow.

Comments

[Anthony]

As a professional soldier, I wanted to tell you that your photos are beautiful and tastefully done. They capture the solemnity of the occassion and at the same time you were not intrusive and respectful of the family in their time of grief.

Very seldom do we meet people in the media with a sense of propriety combined with a moral aesthetic (if that makes sense.)

Thank You.