I got to photograph a swim meet. I don’t often do swimming, and it is a shame, because I think swimmers tend to be some serious athletes. I was pretty psyched when I got the chance. When I go to any sport for the first time in a while it takes me a bit to get back in sync with the rhythms of that sport. I can absolutely get into a trance just looking through the camera and trying to snap the shutter at the exact moment.
When I got home I reviewed the photos with Matt and we enjoyed the ones with the great water action. You can really see the water being pushed aside, and dragged, and dripping in the stills. I’m sure it could be a great tool to help the swimmers improve their times, I could tell who had their head in too deep, and who wasn’t clearing the water enough with their arms from the photos.
Watching the girls act self conscious and hiding behind their towels when they weren’t in the water reminded me of my self conscious High School years. I wore an ankle length coat all the time through the winter (indoors too), and I remember the panic of feeling naked in the spring when I had to take it off. We women spend a lot of our time hiding. I am still hiding under many extra pounds, and hiding those under baggy clothes. So, my question is what exactly am I hiding? Is it my sexuality? Vulnerability? True Identity? All of the above?
I’ve been off of wheat for a couple of weeks, and sugar has to go now, how will I handle the inevitable weight loss? Will I panic and succumb to my addictions again? Will I find that is so pleasant not be overweight that the issues will disappear? (doubt it) Perhaps yet another round of therapy is in order. Maybe I can find someone who specializes in eating disorders or body image. I really don’t want to do the whole therapy thing now, it just seems too draining. I want to get physical results and not have to do the emotional housekeeping. See, I suck at all housekeeping! 
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