June 18, 2007

yabba dabba doo

On Thursday, out of utter frustration with my still injured ankle/foot I went against my alternative medicine preferring best judgement and took my injured self to an orthopedist. The completely indifferent towards me dude looked at my swollen extremity said "Let's get an x-ray" I said, "I know it isn't broken, I think I tore something". He said "Let's see" and I got the x-rays. He said "Well, it isn't broken" I said, "I know it isn't broken, I think I tore something". He said "Well, I could put you in a boot" I said "I'd rather not wear a boot" He said "I'll prescribe an anti-inflammatory for a month for you, you can see a physical therapist, who'll probably only see you twice and then you can do it by yourself and if it still hurts in three weeks give me a call and I'll order an MRI" I said "I hurt it almost two months ago, it's getting worse" and he left the room to get the prescription pad.

Since I don't know how I'll react to anti-inflammatory medicine cause I don't take much of any medicine, he handed me three sample three-packs of a certain medicine I have heard of before (because I occasionally watch television, but in all honesty, I couldn't remember whether or not I was supposed to be able to ride horses, climb mountains, eat in greasy spoon diners or have sex with middle aged men after taking it) and then the doctor said "Take one each day with meals" I assumed he meant take one pack each day, one pill per each of the three meals I am supposed to eat (you know the ones which fall between my binge/snack extracurricular meals). But he didn't mean that, what he meant was "Take one pill per day" which isn't what he said.

So, anyway, I couldn't believe I was going to take a prescription, so I just went and did it with out reading the carefully folded information pack that came glued onto the back of the samples. Guess who just took three times more of prescription strength anti-inflammatory than I was supposed to for the past three days. Current overdose effects include: headache, stomach pain, and frequent trips to the potty. I haven't experienced the more fun over dose effects of coffee ground like vomit, shallow breathing and loss of consciousness. Hopefully I won't, cause eww, I hate puking and if I get bed rest I want to be conscious enough to at least enjoy a few old movies on cable. My extremity is also curiously swollen right now, (as in the opposite of anti-inflammatory) and I think there may be some kind of water retention issue going on due to the over dose. I'm hoping that's what is causing it because these Fred Flintstone feet are completely creeping me out.

August 20, 2006

pet peeve #1915

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March 16, 2006

so close!!

Another blogger I read posted a list written by her husband of ten things about her that he finds annoying. I commented by saying:

"I would rather live forever in denial than ask the husband to list things about me that annoy him. But I would happily make a list of his annoying traits. Let me know when you want to read it, this may take a while."

She emailed me back and said "Do you really think what annoys him about you would be that bad?  Nah, you are such a fun gal! " I just love internet support. But, always being up for a challenge, I took this as a challenge, and replied:

"OK. just for you I am going to ask him.  
My money says that there is going to be a lot of lack of cleaning on that list.  
If he went room by room that could be half the list right there.

We'll see."

So I sent the husband this email:

"Do me a favor:

A blogger I read made her husband list 10 of her annoying traits/habits. I commented that I would never do that. She challenged me. So you would you please email me a list if 10 things that bug you about me. I promise you won't get in trouble for any of them.

I know what you are thinking. You are better off just doing it since now my imagination is in overdrive and nothing you say could be worse than that.

Thanks, A"

When he didn't reply in a timely fashion I sent this email off "still waiting for my list of ten things."

To which he replied "Can't think of even one"

OK, so now we all know he is a liar.

BUT he is obviously a liar who wants to earn some brownie points. And the evidence of this desire to score some brownie points really earns some brownie points with me, cause I am all about trying. Seee how easy to please I am? All a guy has to do is try!

I couldn't send the tender sweet, "You are most definitely going to have sex with me the next time I see you." email that I wanted to send to him cause Peanut was here, and it was bad enough that I kept reading the incoming emails, (we were waiting for a specific one) if I had started to type I would have been over the top rude. So I didn't reply to the husband fast enough to let him know how pleased I was. A couple of minutes later this email from the husband showed up:

"Let's see: (1) Messy house, (2) that corner in the kitchen - bad organizational skills, (3) when you're not honest - don't tell the truth (i.e., you're angry at your mother but have these lovey dovey fests)"

OH! So close! HE was SO CLOSE!


December 21, 2005

not what I planned on doing this morning

In an effort to prove a strong biological link with his mother, Matt, age 12, and klutz from birth, attempted the foolish and next to impossible task of walking on the treadmill while playing a game on his PS2. Matt claims he got the idea from his mother. His mother denies suggesting the activity. In addition to a fractured wrist he has no skin on one finger knuckle, the back of his right calf, and the top of his left hand. He is grateful he got to miss a day of school. He is wondering just how much sympathy he can get from female acquaintances. Baked goods might help him turn the corner.
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December 06, 2005

next stop: making fake IDs

In science Matthew's class was given a word search today. The topic was genetics. The class competed to see which student would complete the search first. Matthew took out a felt tip marker and was changing letters on the search grid to create the words he needed to find. He had fabricated quite a few words when he found one legitmately. He burst out laughing when he came to the word ETHICS, and then had to explain himself to the whole class. His teacher feigned disappointment, but couldn't help laughing too. That's my boy!

August 09, 2005

I am hoping this means he is secure in his masculinity

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April 03, 2005

expanding my horizons

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One of the things I enjoy about the me who is not quite young anymore, is that I will try to do just about anything. (OK, anything reasonable) While Josh and I were in the party store picking out plates etc.. for Matt's birthday, we spotted a balloon animal making kit. He wanted it, I said “Let’s give it a try!” The world is just an unmet challenge and I am up for it. Tonight I sat down with the instructions to make (successfully) a dog, bunny, parrot, elephant, turtle, and swan. I knew I was doing OK because each time I finished one, Josh brought it into the other room to see if Matt could guess what it was and each time he did, on the first guess! My natural ability and finesse with the rubber amazed us all, myself included. Maybe I can have another career as a balloon artist. I could hang out at theme restaurants in the mall, or attend children’s parties. Wait I already do that, only now I could get paid! Oh the possibilities are endless, and all due to getting older and being willing to go that extra mile and have those new experiences. Oprah’s right, it’s all just getting better and better.

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