When I took Josh to school this morning I accidentally locked Devil Dog out of the house in the fenced in back yard. I figured the weather was nice enough and the devil was wearing a fur coat after all and she would be fine.
I went to the gym (I let the arc trainer beat me to a pulp) and then I came home to finally sit down and do some of grandma's paper work and return some calls, and rsvp for my popular kids (who are already getting invited to birthday parties) and other stuff that I have been putting off for a while. I walked in the door and Devil Dog was right on top of me begging and being typically annoying while also making a weird noise that she doesn't usually make. (Probably you guys know this going to a bad place, but me, I am dense and I was preoccupied and I did not get suspicious yet)
I tried to get devil to lie at my feet while I did my stuff but she wouldn't stop flopping around. After a few minutes I had an envelope to put in the mail box so I called devil to escort me to the end of driveway. Once outside devil dropped to the lawn/weed patch and began rubbing her head so hard that she was taking up the grass (weeds) and exposing all the dirt (clay). I called devil over and saw that she did not look like herself. For a minute I suspected that devil had been replaced by a hound dog of some sort, a dog with a wide droopy face, but no, it acted too much like the devil to be any one else. So I called my neighbor to come over and tell me if the devil looked funny. And that was when I realized that all the devil's skin was actually crimson underneath her fur instead of white.
But then I decided that I was not crazy about devil looking weird and I called the vet and told her that devil was red and puffy and the vet told me to bring her right in. Oh joy. The devil hates going to the vet almost as much as she hates going to the groomer. It's easy to trick her into the car, but dragging her from the car to the vet and then standing my ground while devil tries to drag me back out the door of the vet's place is not fun. Also, she whines the entire time we are there. I get kind of embarrassed standing around with the only animal that is making a huge fuss. I always joke that devil doesn't believe me when I tell her she can only be fixed once.
Vet took one look at Devil, flipped her swollen swinging fleshy cheek flaps over and found the marking of a stinger. The devil had most likely licked a bee out there in the back yard this morning. Then just about every body working in the vet's office today came through asking to see my "puffy" dog and snickering. She was puffy! I don't know what else they would have called it. Devil (aka: Puff Doggie Dog) got a shot of steroid and a shot of benadryl and now I will on nursing duty for the next 11 days administering those same medications in pill form via a slice of american cheese.
And if I could have found you a video of Lewis Black doing that thing when he lets his cheeks go slack and shakes his head and goes "brghbrghbrgh" I'd show that to you too because she did that as well.