I got an email from Matt's math teacher on Friday. (Uh oh) It said Matt isn't doing so well in math. (UH OH!) It says there are a few factors contributing to his poor performance. (U-H!! O-H!!!) and the primary reason he isn't doing so well is that he is socializing too much. S.T.O.P. WHAT?!? My kid (Hello? ASPERGERS) is not doing so well because being tooTOO tooToo social??? ummm ...wow.... what to do about that...
Dear High School Teacher of The Special Math Class,
I am sure to the very core of my being that you are completely overwhelmed with too many needy special math students and most likely have a huge stack of tired worn out manilla folders filled with long winded prolific never quite get to the point assessments of your 187 unique and different kinds of special needs special math students. I imagine that if you tried real hard you could finish plowing your way through these 187 assessments sometime around June.
If you should happen to locate and breeze through Matt's never ending assessment, (you know, cause he isn't doing so well in special math according to you) you will see that Matt has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's is a great big wonderful world of social deficit. You should also know that our family takes Matt's diagnosis with Asperger's Syndrome very seriously. And you should know that we have had a long, serious, and thorough family discussion about Matt's over socializing in class being the primary contributing reason for his poor performance this marking period.
Anyway, we have spoken with Matt and feel confident that he will be more focused in special math in the future, but in the mean time, please enjoy the attached picnic basket. The caviar needs to be kept cool, the doves should be released around noon, I won't tell anyone about the champagne during school hours, and the cake is a real buttercream, so you might want to eat it right away.
Good News is always welcome here.
with love and appreciation,
keep up the good work,