I lost my cool with the husband today. I’m not proud
He has opted out of life. He’s not sad. He’s not happy. He’s completely complacent and all the burden of everything messed up is on my shoulders and I don’t know how to take control of this situation.
I’ve got a third realtor coming tomorrow in another attempt to unload Utopia which is my necessary nightmare right now. I haven’t had a good summer for a long time. I have had three summers with the stress of graduate school weighing heavy on me and now I am having my third summer with a demented husband staring off into space or at the screen and sleeping all day long. It’s my third summer in a row of hoping the husband doesn’t fall down the stairs or outside the house or holding my breath if he thinks he’s going to go in the water.
Summer used to be my favorite time of year. I loved gathering up my beloved children and strolling to the town pool and buying ice pops for them before we hiked back to our house covered in sand and dirt. Then we would have easy summer dinners. And I’d kiss their sun warmed cheeks before they went to sleep. I miss those days