I can't wait until tomorrow just so all of the end of year donations commercials, emails, letters and postcards stop. It's annoying it makes me feel like hoarding everything. Also, I just want to go out of my mind when stores they'll donate when you spend money there because it's all a big tax deduction for them instead of savings you!!
Also, we live close enough to NJ that we keep seeing this heroin addiction help commercial featuring Chris Christie who seems not to have figured out that most people see him and immediately suppress the urge to vomit. First, let me say that I was sure he was the self serving bully creep he turned out to be the second he ran for anything the very first time I spotted him on my radar. Fast forward to 2017- You can't play footsie with a nazi in the white house and then expect anyone to believe you're a nice guy. It just doesn't work that way. The united states hates you, so go crawl under a rock. If anything, I'd guess that this political climate is one in which people have lost all hope and now (Oh you, Christie, are partially to blame in this....) opiates seem like a good idea, you know, just enough to get through this rough patch..... (of hell on earth. Fuck you GOP) That's how it starts. People think, just a little bit, for now, right now, I need it right now. We have all seen it time and time again.
In the mean time, We are two days away from being back in the routine of school and as usual I longed for this vacation, I just didn't want to hear my alarm go off every morning at 6AM. Then mother nature stepped in with this seemingly endless arctic temperature air and now , even though my eyes open around 6:30 anyways, I check the temp on my phone (single digit) and I just waste time scrolling through Facebook or instagram and then it gets hard to even motivate myself out of bed. Poor sweet pea, the walks have been short (due to my face being frostbite city) and it isn't the same when she and I don't walk with our dog and human friends. One day Evan came with us and sweet pea was so baffled by her two main people being there together that she stayed super close and barely ran off to chase squirrels. One the one hand it's nice when she doesn't disappear because I'm not wondering if she is rolling inhuman feces, but on the other hand she gets the bulk of her exercise either chasing squirrels or running with other dogs, so I prefer the higher activity level despite the potential of surprise needs for stopping at the self serve dog bathing center on the way out of the park. But what I never seem to grasp when I am longing for action is that without the routine of school getting me up and out every day I end up procrastinating like crazy. I need a job. I can't get a job right now, being the husband's full time nurse/aide, but I can fantasize about having a job, with a purpose, and a built in set of people to both support and befriend me and drive me insane with their odd points of view or lack of hygiene or what ever else coworkers drive you crazy with.
I had this fantasy that I'd get some cleaning done over the break and maybe even paint the family room. hahahaha. Yeah, I got zero anything accomplished over the break. I haven't even been able to take many photos due to the temps being in the teens and my equipment not working reliably under 20 degrees. sigh. There is no way I want to stay in this climate. I need to move south- or at least somewhere south of here. Where Matt is it is consistently 10 degrees warmer. That seems like a better situation right now. Interesting to note, that the fall was so mild here that I was actually telling myself I could stay in this area. All it took was one prolonged cold blast for me to think NOPE, gotta go!! Also, there is the issue of snow and how I see snow and wonder how long until I slip and what I'll break, sprain, tear, concuss this winter.
Yeah, next stop on my ride of life is going to be somewhere milder than here.
Last night it was so clear outside that at 10:30 when I took sweet pea out for her last chance to pee for the night I did not have to use a flash light. I like those nights. I can imagine a world where it isn't 9 degrees out where I take a walk in the not so dark night. But first I'd have to have someone to go with me, because we all know that the truth is I'm a big fraidy cat. I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of the critters that prowl around in the darkness.
Speaking of having a companion for late night moonlit walks, I was having this fantasy about starting over and surrounding myself with people who did not like to sit around the house all day and waste their existence in front of television and computer screens. I felt guilty about my fantasy, but truth be told, this life of sitting around doing nothing (after my daily excursion with sweet pea to the woods) is really driving me bonkers. I can only think the same thing in my head so many times, you know?
Speaking of what I'm thinking about in my head, I'm getting pretty excited about the writing and photobook combination I have going on. I've got my fingers crossed for a less frigid overcast day in which to collect more images for the book. I think I'll print out some images today and do a mock up of what I've got already. I'll put it all in a looseleaf binder so I can fill in the empty spaces as I go along. The good part of how I see the writing aspect unfold is that I will be able to insert images and more writing with ease.