I'm getting all anxious about the person coming to see the utopia on Tuesday. It would be totally perfect if they just made an offer and we could be out of here. That way I wont have to worry about the house all winter long. It would be so nice to have one less thing to worry about. I know how princess-like that sounds. I am aware of how fortunate I am to have two separate houses to worry about, not that we are in a financial position to have two houses anymore ....
Once this stage of my life passes I do not think I ever want to have more than one house, but there is temptation to have a warm place to go for a winter house and a not broiling hot place to go for a summer house. I'm thinking maybe somewhere in northern Florida, thanks to their great tax laws and affordable cost of living. The one thing holding me back is the not great health care, because it's not like I'm getting any younger over here and good health care is something I will surely need to take into consideration before I make my next move.
That is if I can even move at all. If no one buys utopia I will be stuck with it and spend the next portion of my life hustling to be able to afford it. I want it less every day. I'm not kidding. It's become a dead weight pulling me under.
Once the husband was back in the hospital last thursday night I stopped sleeping. It is crazy but I go to bed, fall asleep and wake up 6 hours later feeling as if I haven't slept a wink- but I can't go back to sleep. Then I drag myself around all day, sneak in a nap somewhere (by that I mean, pass out in a chair as soon as I sit down) and just do this kind of zombie thing until I fall into bed again the next night. The only time I feel awake is when I go to bed because I don't want to sleep. I think I'm having disturbing dreams.