I read somebody writing today about how her artificial hip sets off the metal detector at airports and she always get a pat down. I decided that when my time for artificial joints come I will keep hand warmers in my crotch area prior to going through security just so the person giving me a pat down thinks I pissed my pants when they feel the warmth through their latex gloved hands.
How many ways can I tell you how freaking bitchy I am feeling these days?
Now, you all know that I know practically no one in this town, but I happened to bump into the husband of a couple I know who told me in a very weird and creepy TMI way that his wife has lost interest in being physical with him. SERIOUS?? I just can not. There are so many other less pathetic ways to say he is looking for something. Also, I had no idea anyone would approach me in a sexual way since in my own mind I am so very (suffocatingly due to brain disease and diabetes) married. And big. I guess when my dog park friend asked me if I was going to lose some weight and get in shape so I could find another man she didn't know that some guys like us fat. (I was going to say chubby, but the chubby boat no longer applies. I am huge over here)
In other news, leaving the Y the other day I saw a young driver scrape her car up against and get her wheel stuck in the wheel well of another car while trying to park. Honestly, it was like watching me drive when I was young, so when I saw her face freaking out behind her windshield I turned my car off, got out, and calmed her down so she could call her mom and tell her what happened. I had to explain it to the mom because the poor kid was practically hyper ventilating. Then I stayed with her. She was terrified that the driver of the other car would go nuts so I told her I would put my person between her and the other car owner if that should happen. Conveniently, an 18 wheeler took out both a light post and a stop sign in the same parking lot at the very same moment so there were Y staff members around to also reassure the young girl (with her 2 week old driver's license) that this kind of thing happens to everyone when they are a new driver. Some more than most, which I was way back when, so I regaled her with stories of all the times I dented and pinged my mom's car and even my own current vehicle. She felt better and then the very cool other car driver came out and was not freaking out, she was very understanding and then AAA showed up and the police and the mom, so I left.
The whole time the girl kept thanking me for being there, and even the owner of the other car seemed appreciative like I was doing something totally remarkable. I just kept telling them I was a mom. It takes a village, right? I firmly believe we are all in this together. Also, I hope one day this will get paid forward to my own kids if they are in need.