Speaking of grandma, (see yesterday's post) it's her birthday today. She would be 105 if she was still kicking. That thought kind of makes me shudder. 105 is way older than I want to live, especially with my back and knees. Oh lord, have mercy on me! Grandma got to live a nice long life, (96) so you know, it was all inevitable, and hey, look I'm 100% sure I don't want to live a day past the day when I don't know my own children anymore, and grandma was way past that day, but I still miss having the fun exciting grandma I had when I was a kid. Also, I wish my own children could have a grandmother like I did. I really do feel like my kids were completely ripped off by not even getting the chance to have any grandparents at all. It's so sad.
So, I'm starting to do the things that people who want to live a long life do, like go the Y and whip myself into cardiovascular shape on the revered expresso bike. I did forget the one itty bitty draw back to the expresso bike, which happens to be that somehow no matter how conscious I am about how I sit on the freaking bike seat I manage to pinch a bit of myself down there and then it is tender in one particular little spot for a couple of days afterwards. I would completely alternate with something cardio but nonimpact like an elliptical machine but somehow I think (because I am a special kind of special) that the non impact elliptical bothers my knee(s). particularly the right knee which is still on fire after my not in the least bit comedic trip on a tree root in the woods last October (??) - could it be that long ago?? Once I get the cardio thing all back on track I'll start up with some resistance training because I am old enough to remind myself that resistance training prevents bone loss in one's AARP years.
In my new life and role as caregiver I take the husband to the Y with me. The problem is all with my attitude and I really never in my entire life wanted a gym buddy. Now, not only do I have a gym buddy, but I have a gym buddy , who every time he sees my hair pulled back off my face in the daylight remarks on how much gray hair I have got going on. This is from a dude who started going gray in high school! I didn't pick up real speed in the gray hair department until I was 50 and Evan decided to get himself kicked out of party university and the husband went on disability- all in a 3 week period, so hell yeah I'm gray! It came down to go gray or shoot my brains out. I EARNED those silver medals. Shut up gym buddy and get in my car so I can drive you home. I will never color my hair. (outside of the joke crazy color I plan on putting on the tips of my hair for the nieces bat mitzvah next May- which I will promptly cut off in one fell swoop days later)
The area where I really need to get on top of things is (as always) the putting massive quantities of food on my own mouth. People, I am eating waaaaay too much. I know it's all stress eating. What am I gonna do? I have no other working strategies for dealing with stress. I'm at a loss. I dream about being one of those people who couldn't possibly eat when they're stressed, and not the kind of girl who goes all cookie monster over anything she can get her mangled from biting finger tips on.