I remembered that I had a little waterproof digital point and shoot and I managed to dig it out half way through the summer. I've been swimming around the property borders taking photos. I've been photographing this place for the entire summer, this is one of the things I have going on. It's like when you are in a really glorious moment and you close your eyes for a minute and try to etch that moment in to your head so that the memory will be there forever. I can remember times I was so completely overwhelmed with love for the kids and I would do just that. I can not today describe the moment, only that feeling of the deepest love possible. Part of me still can not believe that this dream is going to be over. To this day I can not explain my love for this place, but it has nothing to do with the over the top house the husband built to replace the crumbling toxic mold house that was here when we bought it. To be honest, I'd be happy as a clam living here all summer in a little camper. Maybe not so much in the coldest parts of the winter, but all summer it would suit me just fine. But I am telling myself that one day I will find another place that will be as wonderful and I will feel as at peace in that place and it will not come with the stress of not being able to afford it!
Yup. That's the dream.
In the mean time today is my last day here for this summer, maybe my last. Oh utopia, I will miss you and what I imagined you had to offer me. Hopefully I will find you somewhere else.