I think about writing here almost every day but the truth is that I am so sad and so overwhelmed right now that it's too much. the thought of deciding how much underwear I need for the week makes me want to cry.
The husband has become my constant (disabled) companion and the truth is that I am just not that social or friendly of a person. All I really want to do is be free and alone and go make photographs, so pretty much every second of the day I am either numbing out by wasting time staring at my phone or thinking about the work I could be making if I didn't feel like I was anchored to the house. It's not a good feeling.
The truth is that I could leave him alone, I just feel guilty for doing so. Also, I know he won't prepare food or otherwise take care of himself when I am not there and I am somewhat afraid that I will return to find him on the floor or something.