I threw my back out Sunday night. And by "threw my back out" I mean slipped a disc so obviously that my right hip is jutting out way way over to the side. Every muscle in my torso is cramping up. I can barely go from standing to lying down and even more painful is getting up from lying down. Sitting is ridicuous, but sometimes I have to sit between lying and standing just to redistribute my spine in such a way that it is possible for me to stand. I've come pretty close to passing out because of the intensity of the pain. I "walk" with a strange knees together gait, and I feel like I am so twisted that I could easily end up hobbling around in circles.
At first I was depressed. Feeling paralyzed by pain, unable to sleep I lay here with the sinking feeling that this could happen to me again and again, even when I'm old. It was almost too much for me. I went to the chiroprator Monday and then again today. Today he did something that totally helped me be a wee bit straighter and he also made an appointment for me with an orthopaedist so I could get my hands on some 'roids.
I tore into those 'roids the moment I sat down in the car to go home. Bring on the mood swings, extra hair, weight gain, and coffee grind vomit! I'm taking every single one of those pills. It's been 4 1/2 hours since the first dose and I am pretty sure I feel a tid bit of relief already. I'm keeping the doc with the prescription pad on speed dial. I liked him a lot because he also grew up in the city and also because he went to the sister high school of my high school. He was on the young side, and that is not a plus for an ageist like me, but in this case I'm willing to forgive.
One horrible aspect of this ordeal, outisde the pain has been the inability to put on my own undies and pants. The first morning the husband went to work, so I had to ask Josh to help me out. Luckily he is still in therapy because of last year's bullying situation. I know now by the painful grimace on Josh's baby face that he is too old to be near a towel clad me. When did that happen?
This morning I asked the husband to help me out in the undies department before he went to work. I handed him my undies in the right position, and he ended up doing something weird with them. I figured he just didn't like me showing him how to do it because he is that kind of a guy. All morning I noticed my underwear in my butt crack and riding up my right butt cheek, but thought the undies had somehow gotten twisted on my twisted self. When I went to the bathroom before going to the doctor this afternoon I noticed that my torso was through a leg hole and my leg was through the waist band of my undies. Luckily today's undies are the stretchy kind. Also lucky for me the doctor did not require me to undress. My undies were also inside out. I was worried all the way over to my appointment about having to describe how it was my husbands fault that I am wearing undies like a self dressing toddler and also needing to ask the nurse to hold up my undies for me to get dressed.
I'm very excited right now because I am due for another dose of the roids. Fingers crossed!