Yesterday would have been grandma's 100th birthday. I was trying not to think about it too much. I did manage to mention it to the kids one time without tears.
Then things got good for a few hours when Matt and I went to a mall for a day. Matt found some shirts on sale that I had an additional 25% off coupon for. That was sweet. I found some bras to replace the ones that the underwires poked their way out of. That was good. I found some undies for Josh, who needed larger undies in a most desperate way. That was good too.
Then I ended up at the grocery store where there was kid in the dairy aisle who was screaming "Shut up mommy!" over and over again from his shopping cart seat. The mom kept saying "Sush" and "Sush." I wanted to stab both of them. I wondered if John Quinones was going to jump out and ask me why I didn't intervene.
Then in the parking lot I saw a wondrous freaky creature of my special kind of ultra realistic nightmares. She had gray streaked hair down to the back of her knees, which were easily 7 inches away from each other due to the seriousness of her case of anorexia and then she glared at me, not cracking a smile on her synthetically plumped Angelina Jolie blood red painted lips. I heard the clomp clomp clomp of her 5 inch heels as she headed for cover and I didn't get to sneak of a photo of her.
Then the whole Y@le rejection thing. I was not prepared for the rejection. Also, I didn't think we'd hear so soon. I just ordered a ton of paper to print my portfolio on. I'm going to print up a few copies anyway. Maybe I can get someone around here interested. At least I'll have time to take more classes at the local art centers. There are plenty to choose from around here. I'm totally goign to reapply next year. I don't have the energy to think about it yet though.
I'm really feeling sad and lost. I wish I could lock myself in the posh club (which I miss more than you could know) for the day but instead I have to take Matt to the airport. I love picking him up at the airport, I hate bringing him there to leave us again.
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