After terrorizing my own gall bladder over the holidays (and beyond) I decided to give the old GB a beak and lay off the animal products for a while. When I lay off the animal products I go for protein in the form of beans. And you can guess what happens when I go for beans. It's also been pretty cold here in the North East. When it is cold I wear my seriously puffy and long black down coat. I look like a tall stack of tires (with a face) walking down the street. But it is cozy in there! Unfortunately, recall, I've been all over the beans, which leads to you know what. The first time I was caught off guard I was walking bear bait in my long black coat, all snapped up from my calves to my neck, so I figured I'd casually let one slip, who would ever know? Right? Basically, I dutch ovened myself and with every step for about 7 steps a little puff of bean fart air escaped through the neck of my puffy down coat right in the direction of my nose. The same thing happened last night when I found myself alone in the pasta aisle. I subtly passed wind on one end of the aisle and tried to make my way over to the other wind free end but oh no. Dutch oven! With every broad stride away from area of detonation a puff puffed out the top opening of my coat. One would think that I would learn my lesson. After all, I had been fooled twice! Shame on me. But no. Today I rehashed the entire shocking unsettling behavior.
Fool me thrice .... I'm a lost cause.
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