guess
me: Evan you have to change from the raunchy stand up comedy channel on the satellite radio before your friend gets in the car. His mom is strict. He doesn't even get to see PG13 movies.
Evan: N.O. W.A.Y.
me: Yup, it is true. She feels very strongly about that and I don't want us to be the bad influence. (Naturally I forgot that we might have let him see an R rated movie once at our house -whistle - whistle - look casual and gaze off into space)
Evan: Wait. Is that even HEALTHY?
Speaking of satellite radio, they have ads!! Ads which I find incredibly disappointing (aren't I paying for ad free radio?) and annoying and most of all. Those ads are giving me quite the complex. It seems that the target audience for satellite radio has bad credit, can't get their penises up, have tiny penises anyway and isn't good in bed anyway, has excess weight around the middle (wait, that is me....) and something like spackle in their intestines (oh no!), can't bother traveling to a business meeting, can't do their own taxes, or manage their money, actually believe that they can make money selling goods over the internet that they never have to see, and live in fear of becoming an identity theft victim. How could someone (who is hopefully spackle-less) such as myself, my meetingless, penisless, not interested in sales, set with an accountant, and secure in my own identity stand listening to these ads? I can't. Someone tell XM they aren't sticking to their part of the bargain and folks like me (cause you all feel the same, right?) are thinking of jumping ship. At least when I listen to lame ads on FM it's free.
PS You know up there in the header it suggests that I have been lying by omission and you guys are all probably wondering if that could be true. Could it all actually be worse than what I have been telling you? Doesn't seem it could get worse right? Can one family take another hit? I mean, maybe in the fictional television soap opera world, but in reality? Nah... Wrong! You better sit down, cause there is more. But I am just taunting you here, because I am still working on that tell-more (as opposed to tell-all) post in my head. You guys are going to need to gear up for that one. Hopefully I'll get my act together for tomorrow or the next day. Yeah, I am going to promise to have it to you by Friday. In the mean time, please guess! Let me have some fun in these trying times! (and if you are a real life friend and you know what I am talking about - don't guess!) I'll give you two hints: it does not involve an alien abduction or another fatal disease.
PPS For the grandma fan club- she was transferred to my first choice rehab/nursing home today. I have high hopes. Cross your fingers for good decent care.
Scumle decides that he has always, truly wanted to be a woman and has decided to finally have a sex change job. But! He can't afford to live in his house, or the country house and asks Clickmom if he can live for free with her.
Oh! I could, could go on and on - but can't decide if you kill him with in the first half hour or quietly in his sleep! :0)
Posted by: jen - mom of 4 | May 06, 2008 at 09:31 PM
okay i can't top jen- mom of 4. that was hilarious!
Posted by: Laura | May 07, 2008 at 07:55 AM
Hahaha! I wish! Good one!
Posted by: clickmom | May 07, 2008 at 08:33 AM
I'm afraid to guess - I don't want to be right! And with anyone else, I could just guess some wild-assed crap and be nowhere near reality - but not you. You live the messy life like me...and if I have to come up with something truly worse than all I've read here, there's no way in hell I'm gonna write it out and click 'Post' on that kind of shit! No Way! I'll just sit over here in the corner, shut the hell up, chain-smoke and wait for the news.
Posted by: Suzanne Says... | May 07, 2008 at 07:48 PM
does it have to be in the first half hour OR quietly in his sleep, or can it be both? Cuz if it were me it would be both. Because I would have hit him over the head with an iron skillet within the moment he walked in the door, so yeah, he would be quietly sleeping.
I got nothing on the news though. Waiting to hear, praying for NotSoBad.
Posted by: CadyKansas | May 07, 2008 at 11:40 PM
"Taking another hit" means bad news to me..so..I'm going to say that wacky Frank (was that his name?) burned down Utopia.
Posted by: danelle | May 08, 2008 at 02:48 AM
AAAGGGHHHHH!!! Bite your tongue!
I think I may have spooked the kids just a wee bit about Freaky Frank because they keep
bringing him up, like an urban myth or local legend or something.
Ooopps.
Posted by: clickmom | May 08, 2008 at 06:48 AM