Knowing that the new year is only a few hours away is a pretty scary prospect from where I am sitting. In 2007 I assumed complete responsibility for my then 95 year old grandmother. She isn't getting any younger. And you all know about the butt issue. It remains unresolved. In 2007 I found out that my both my mother and my father had advanced incurable cancers. They are both treating their (different) cancers in an attempt to buy more time because each is desperate to be here for the other one. Dad's prognosis looks promising, he might have more than the possible two years they gave him last summer, mom is about a teaspoon of salt away from total kidney failure. Her treatment is suspended for now until some future time if and when her kidney function improves from it's current entirely death defying frighteningly low level.
Needless to say in 2007, we won't go into details, but I gained enough weight to require an entirely new wardrobe.
So, I prepare to greet the new year, sitting in front of my almost full hard drive (where is that damned external hard drive?) with my always full belly wondering just how hard the next year can possibly turn out to be and where I am going to get the strength to plow through it.
Folks, I am scared! Wow. I do not want time to keep on marching here, no, no, no.
Resolutions seem like such a stupid useless meaningless waste of time right now, but I am finding that what I need to keep in my life are the stupid meaningless things. They seem to be the glue that is keeping my sanity around. I'm clinging to them. Normally, I don't bother making resolutions, but this year I came up with a boat load. I had to pare down the list. This is what I have been thinking, resolution wise:
1. Pay more attention to my own work. I am most likely going to sign up for an independent study at a local art center. I am vowing to put aside at least one chunk of time per week for landscape photographing.
2. Keep way less junk foods in the house. The kids are soft and I really don't want to set them up for a life time of weight issues. I'm so screwed when it comes to food, I have to break that cycle.
3. Make the kids move more. That dog will be walked!!
4. Find a way to deal with my own weight issues, whether they turn out to be psychological, medical, or a combination of both. I have to start taking care of my health too.
That's it. And oh yeah, one more thing. I might be (or quickly make myself) crazy, but I signed up for the blog365 thing. I just promised to blog every day (except 2/29) for the next year. I know it seems like a lot, but like I said, it's the little things that are keeping me going right now.