Last week I was in rubber necking traffic and the amount of ridiculous happiness I felt when I actually saw the jack knifed tractor trailer was over the top. Knowing that, you can possibly imagine the thrill I experienced today when I cruised past a car with flames coming out of the hood. In defense of my appreciation of things frightening, I would like to point out that there were no dead bodies at either scene.
But I did see someone's body being pulled out of a gorge up in Ithaca when I was in college. It stayed with me. It was the first dead person I ever saw. People were all just standing around watching, which is how I got to looking down at the scene. The whole thing was surreal.
And ......... there is no point to that last paragraph, but I'm leaving it here because I like leaving little parts of my history on these pages.
Speaking of little parts of my history, I am thinking of creating a book about some of the worst memories of my childhood abuse. I just have to come up with a way to get these ideas on paper. Too bad I can't time travel back in time and photograph them. Some thoughts I have tossed around in my head are creating little dioramas and photographing them, or illustrating the scenes and then making them into intaglio prints. I could also intaglio print the photographs too. I guess I'll just have to just do it and see what works. I'm not sure why I want to do this with the worst of my life, but if I had to play therapist and guess I would say that I still have some processing to do.
As just about every victim, or loved one of a victim responds, I too would like to share my story just to maybe stop someone else from going through what I've been through,. It seems so preventable, and in the least I'd like to give some one the power that was stripped of me which I have spent to much time and energy trying to figure how to get back. Even if there are still victims I feel like the earlier someone can reach them then the faster they can reclaim themselves.
Did you all notice how smoothly I just transitioned from vehicles on the side of the highway to child abuse? Talent.