I flew to hipster U. and back twice this week. Naturally, I cried silently to myself on the way to the airport for the first flight convinced tht Evan, who was accompanying me, and I would die in a fiery plane crash. Once at the airport I composed a text message to Matt telling him that if his brother and I died en route to see him in his play that he and Josh should know that being their mother was my life time dream and that I was proud of them every single day.
Ev and I got to hipster U intact and Matt never said a word about the text. I figured my last words to Matt being in a text was a very 21st century way to go. In the 20th century we could pry the last word bearing mini cassettes out of our answering machines, now we can take a screen capture of our mobile phones and printout multiple copies.
Matt was great in his play. He played a suit wearing serious grim character. I think he could be easily typecast that way. He looked so handsome with his hair cut short. It's been a long time since I've gotten to see his whole face and I like it that way. Nothing was more torturous to me as a parent needing to connect to my kid than the first time Matt grew his hair out really long and let it hang straight down his face without pushing it to the side. I recall telling him over and over that I had to see at least one eye before I could talk to him.
The second time I flew out to hipster U. was to bring Matt home. And now he's here! Hurray! I got to hipster U. yesterday but Matt was terribly busy. I told him I'd keep myself occupied, so I searched the web for some formal gardens to photograph and found something that sounded worthwhile. The day before I left the forecast was cooperating too. It was supposed to overcast, which is my preferred formal garden photographing type of light. I got off the plane and it was downpouring. I sat in the rental car planning how I'd wait until the rain stopped and then photograph the soggy gardens until the nice soft light of just finished raining clouds. I started my hour long journey to the gardens and before long the skies dried and there was thick gray cloud layer over everything. Then the clouds parted and there were big bouncy clouds, which could still work as long as I was patient and waited for the shade to roll through before I pressed the shutter button. By the time I got to the gardens the sky was cloudless. I hadn't brought my UV filter either dammit. Immediately I realized that the formal garden part of this garden was tiny. Damn. Then I lifted my camera to my face to shoot and realized that I had left my super wide angle lens on my camera the last time I went out shooting. Triple damn. I also left my flash at home. Damn to the fourth degree.
Not having a kid who currently needed me anyway, I did walk the garden loop while shooting a few photos despite the unwanted sunshine, lack of filter, and wrong lens. It's tough to hold a camera steady while kicking yourself, so I have low expectations for the few photos I did manage to take. Today, however, I am going to another place to shoot. It is not a formal garden, but a farm. My current photo teacher has generously offered to meet the class there since the art center cancelled classes because of some event they are having. I plan on getting there early to do some solo shooting in a lower light. I'm still feeling my way around what I am shooting, since I feel the need to define what I am shooting before I go out and shoot it thinking that next fall I will need to write an artist statement about my work when I reapply to Y@le and maybe two other esteemed institutions just for back up. (But really, I only want to go to Y@le)